A week of lessons

WOW, it has been a rough week!! I have learned a lot this week about my relationship with God, friendships and my sweet little family!! I've spent a lot of time on my knee's praying for wisdom and grace, for patience and knowledge! Many tears have fallen! I am so thankful that I serve a God who listens and who truly hears me! He knows my heart and my struggles, He hears my prayers, and holds me when I am unsure!! I think I always thought when I grew up, I would have it all together!! SURPRISE...I don't!! Don't get me wrong, life is certainly a lot more fun now, I love sharing my life with Wyatt, Maddie and Zack!! They bring me the most JOY, I never imagined that my heart so feel so full of love for three people!! But there are always life struggles...and I feel like they are all hitting me at once!! I am a very strong person, I LOVE God with my entire soul, I talk to Him a lot, I depend on my time with Him each day! So I am thankful for the time I have gotten to spend with Him...just Him and I late at night and early in the morning!!

I won't share every lesson that I have learned this week, there have been A LOT, (I can be kind of stubborn sometimes!!:)) but I think by writing them out, it helps keep me accountable!

I learned that I am not meant to work right now!! I subbed at GDA this week for two days, and although I LOVED my time there, I was sick being away from my babies!! I loved the fellowship in the friendships that I have made there, there are some AMAZING women there who challenge me in SO many ways!! I worked at GDA when I found out I was pregnant with Maddie! So many of the ladies poured into me wisdom and love!!! For them, I am SO THANKFUL!!!! Those two days I was there, felt like I never left, I had a blast!! But my time away from my kids, made realize how important my time is with them right now! They need me and I need them!!! We enjoy life together so much, I want to invest in them as much as I can before they start their school career's and I don't get to be with them all day every day!! Maddie and Zack have truly REFINED me, is that crazy to say about your kids?? I don't think so, they have helped me realize what kind of mom and woman I want to be! I have a LOT of work to do!!!

Lesson number 2! People/friends will come and go, but God will always stay the same!! People refine us, they make us better, despite who WE are! God uses people to teach us lessons (in my case, when I chose not to listen to Him!:) some really fun, good lessons and some lessons that break your heart! But, life is all about learning and growing, seeking and finding!! In order to HAVE good friends, you must BE a good friend!! I am truly still working on this one!! I want to be an awesome friend, one who listens and loves unconditionally!

Lesson number three! Being a parent is HARD!! Holy cow!! This has been a hard week of parenting for me, but I won't give up!! My sweet little Zack is SO MUCH different than my Maddie!!! It is hard for me to get used to it!! I N-E-V-E-R want to be a parent that compares their children and makes them feel bad about themselves because they aren't just like big sister (or big brother)!! Every child is important for exactly who they are!! God created both of my kids for a specific purpose!! He is going to do BIG things with them!! Maddie and Zack have their own personalities and I need to work on managing BOTH of their personalities!!! PLEASE, please, PLEASE pray for me as I discipline my children!! Kids NEED structure and discipline, probably not always the same kind of discipline, but they do need it!!! Please pray that I will take on this challenge wholeheartedly, lovingly and with MUCH patience and grace!! I love having my kids so close, but it makes for rough days sometimes! Pray me through those days friends, I NEED your intervention!!!

I am excited to see what God has to teach me next week!!! I used to think that God taught me lessons to get "back" at me (how self centered was I?!) Now I know that He teaches me lessons so that I can glorify Him with my whole life and not just parts of it!!! It is hard for me to remember Who I am living for sometimes, we keep so busy! BUT, after this week, I will NOT forget!